What it means to be well, to me
Once upon a time, I managed a 20,000-square-foot wellness community filled with therapists, events, art, private offices, and wellness providers from all walks of life, specialties, and backgrounds. It was amazing.
At the time, I didn’t know that I would eventually become a wellness evangelist for queer men. I guess I had to get sick first in order to see the importance of it all. And I think about it often in the work I was doing with the MADE community—now passed on to the bros to carry the wellness torch in their own way.
After all of this, I’ve drawn a few conclusions about wellness I’d love to share from my own journey.
First, it’s relative. It’s in the eye of the beholder what “well” means to them—how they practice taking care of themselves, and what their unique needs are. Time and time again, I have to catch myself from wanting to tell men how to be well, but that never sits right. The truth is, we spend a lifetime finding that answer. And it always begins with asking the question: what is wellness to me? How do I practice it? How can I be more intentional with my body, my mind, and my spirit?
Next, from personal experience, “feeling well” is where I hope to land most days. It’s a balanced feeling. Through all the juggling—mental health, OCD, moments of feeling slightly psychotic, hyperactivity, psoriasis breakouts, and maybe a touch of the ’tism—there are days I can say, damn, I feel well today. Like the wellness wheel of life is rolling somewhat smoothly.
In the MADE community, we adopted a wellness wheel as a framework to guide conversations around the topic. It’s been a beautiful experience witnessing the creation of a simple, not-too-heavy methodology for how we think about wellness. The wheel represents eight different categories you can start with—but over time, I hope men customize their own wheel and seek out the categories that matter most to them.
And lastly, holistic is a word that jumps out from time to time—meaning everything is connected, as our acting chair once told me. It’s true. I believe we should approach our wellness holistically and recognize all the miraculous complexities of our body simultaneously operating, healing, and keeping us alive, breathing, and healthy. What a miracle.
Fragmenting our health and isolating one part of it, for me, doesn’t feel as accurate as allowing yourself to see all sides of you at once.
This is a sweet season for MADE. After almost a year and a half of building it, I’ve been recovering from OCD, healing my psoriasis, growing closer to God, practicing somatics more and more, and feeling more mature in this area.
I’m definitely an unlikely wellness coach, but my approach with men moving forward is informed by my own trials with health—and by witnessing the wellness journeys of men in the MADE community.
If you’re interested in exploring your own wellness journey, just jump on a call and connect. I’d love to hear where you’re at.
Stay well,
Ben
